Cobwebs


I let it happen
I saw it coming and I stopped pushing it away


Stopped wiping the cobwebs off of my face


And layer after layer
Began to stick


until I didn’t look 
like me anymore


There was a face I didn’t recognize in the mirror


My bright eyes
Looked dull


Diffused


And as I looked out from my
Cocooning


I knew I was no longer
A part


Of the world around me


Arms reaching out
But half-heartedly


I turned in
And the things that are inside


Began to speak


Heavy waves crashing over me
Drowning out the voices from the other part of life


Deeper
Deeper
Sink
Stay


Stay inside
That world didn’t want you anyway


And that voice became louder
A force
A shadow
The light grew dim and my eyes grew weak


—


But then the light
That light I knew


The light that called me
Was in here too


Here in my uncomfortable
Comfort


This shroud I allowed
This smothering cover


And the light
first dim
But growing
With every prayer


From friends outside
Who see the struggle
But cannot accept this new false version


they stop to call on the Lord
For me, for me


And I can hear now
Above the waves


Clear voices like rung bells
Calling out over the seas


Awakening my sequestered soul
To a new day 
And a new hope


That I am not lost
Just hiding


And we all hide sometimes
But the cave cannot keep us forever


Even as the grave itself
has no power


Standing next to Christ.

Poem by Emily Lewis Copyright 2020

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